Pimmi Hello again we are Pimmi and Pati

Pati Hello! I've been tinkle tinkled on!

Pimmi You stop that, no you haven't.

Pati Yes I have and so have you!

Pimmi Yes but not in the way you are trying to make folk think, naughty thing.

Pati Its more exciting than the truth.

Pimmi Yes the truth. We have noticed a curious new thing happen here since the fall of the Eye.

Pati Squishy days.

Pimmi Yes we get rain now. Misty, sprinkly..

Pati Tinkly...

Pimmi Sometimes drenching, drippys from the sky.

Pati Makes ash gooey.

Pimmi Mount Doom has been steamy, some lovely cloud formations and sunsets, but would like them quite a lot better if thecloudies and mists didn't also hover over the lunch trays. I can't see a thing sometimes. We just aren't set up to accomodate mist.

Pati Spooky!

Pimmi We have noticed a nice side effect though.

Pati MM mmm.

Pimmi With our meat shortages we have gotten clever. We walk about the grounds and see whats coming up and the waters and goo have delivered some nice treats.

Pati Worms they call them.

Pimmi Yes worms and there are many different kinds, colors textures.. but folk around here call them all worms.

Pati What a nice thing!

Pimmi We had no idea there were such tasty morsels tucked underground. We would have been dousing the gardens long before this if we had known.

Pati They are fun to watch jiggling and squiggling.

Pimmi We are having fun sampling new dishes and trying out new things with them. Humans will eat them if you don't tell them what they are. I have found that they can be enjoying a perfectly good stew until they ask what's in it.

Pati ooohhh the colors those faces can turn! Its like a show!

Pimmi And once they spit it out don't even think of serving it again even if its hardly chewed- its very wasteful. But thats the new way the "good" way. They are the new bosses!

Pati Green faced bosses!

Pimmi But we have fun collecting and cooking and testing. We are calling them earthen meats now and it seems to calm the more delicate of the species. Don't ask, just enjoy!

Pati Lots of new faces!

Pimmi Lots of new projects in the New Mordor.

Pati Oh tell about our helpers!

Pimmi Oh yes and they came just in time.

Pati Our little gang from the Human Men.

Pimmi Its always the humans, they seem to have the most feeling for making over Mordor which touches me deeply. Its really a lovely place and some tender care and flushing out is all it needs now. I have heard the Elves have left, a shame really, they had a real flair for interiors I heard.

Pati Might have met an auntie or two..

Pimmi I never thought of that, what an idea, but too late now.

Pati So sad!

Pimmi Well the Humans, a large troop of men, brought in all these little skinny goblins. They must have been from the mine shafts, tiny but limber.

Pati Not much meat on them. Dwarves want the mines now!

Pimmi Because the Men brought them we knew they weren't bringing them for stewing. They left them to us- just sitting there.

Pati Staring and smiling...

Pimmi The Men speak very loudly to us like we can't hear.

Pati Maybe they can't hear.

Pimmi They shouted some kind of pleasantries and left. We checked the list, and its very clear to not prepare goblins anymore, so instead of being eaten they ate! We gave them some of our earthen meats pudding and they were happy enough.

Pati Then it happened! It was so cute!

Pimmi Yes the little creatures went to work- cleaning tables and licking plates and stacking cups! I love a self sufficient useful goblin. So we now have a staff!

Pati Don't tip them though!

Pimmi No, the poor things get sick swallowing money, they think they are treats! Thats all they want is a snack, so folk know to leave a little lickin' on their plates and a gulp in the cup now. Don't reach out too fast or they may sample your fingers in their excitement. They must not have eaten much in the mines. Although a lovely chewy moss grows down there, but its boring morning noon and night I am sure! So don't toss money!

Pati There is nothing to spend money on here anyway!

Pimmi No we don't have much money in Mordor, never used it, more a goods and services system.. but the developers promise we will be set up for money and a thing called "profit" soon.

Pati Soon is a long time.

Pimmi Yes soon never means soon here but we do live well.

Pati No complaints! Well except the meats.

Pimmi But we make do.

Pati Mustn't grumble!

Pimmi Everyone is doing their best to get over the war, or the battle, or whatever it was exactly.

Pati They never tell us anything!

Pimmi I heard 3 little folk came here and threw a ring away and some people were mad.

Pati Thats all the fuss?

Pimmi Yes something to do with that. Must have been a big fancy ring. Wonder what it looked like? Must have been all done over in jewels!

Pati I bet it spoke! A talking ring!

Pimmi I highly doubt that.

Pati Then I don't know why anyone cared- just make another. So many jewels and things just laying around in all the puddles here.

Pimmi Yes that rain we mentioned washed up lots of things people seem to like to collect. They smile and look at piles of sparklie things when they eat. Its all very pretty but I don't know what its for other than to watch glimmering. I prefer a juicy meaty pie.

Pati MMMmmm me too!!

Pimmi The humans like to collect the hides and fur from the bigger meats. I see why- their skin is very plain and thin looking..

Pati Not very colorful, and very little fur on some of them.

Pimmi So we are only too glad to help them improve themselves. If they look good they'll feel good thats what I say.

Pati I say it too!

Pimmi At first they were very unpleasant to us..

Pati Ever so!

Pimmi ..but then many orcish folk were very unpleasant to them too.

Pati Have to be fair!

Pimmi ..and then some strange orcish folk came from another area and were very very rude to everyone and that didn't help matters. Very snobby too.

Pati Yes thought they were better than everyone!

Pimmi A "wizard"..

Pati What a funny sounding word..

Pimmi ..put all these ideas in their head, like they could just come here and everyone would be "oh aren't you just the finest!" I have never heard anything like that! And they weren't so nice looking! We saw a pile of them.

Pati Very bulky. You could tell. Even all chopped up like they were.

Pimmi And that wasn't just the rot setting in, they really were big and sinewy. Not attractive at all.

Pati Remember that one?

Pimmi Oh yes that one still talking in the fire - asked us if we'd give him a pull out, so we stuck a stick in-

Pati He yelled at us for poking him! Nasty language! Curses!

Pimmi So we just pushed him IN a little further. I do not need to hear such language when I am trying to be helpful!

Pati I think someone would have been mad if we got him out anyway.

Pimmi Well we'll never know for sure.

Pati No I think so.

Pimmi For being so naughty in so many other things you can be so-

Pati So what?

Pimmi Such a goody goody.

Pati I am GOOD aren't I?

Pimmi Don't look so smug deary. Who got us all that lovely furniture?

Pati I don't think thats "good" exactly.

Pimmi No one was using it, those lovely things in that burned out place, and ash was getting all over them and now we have a lovely suite for our new rooms. I don't know why Nazgul would want furniture anyway, you'd think they'd fall through to the floor!

Pati Maybe for guest. I am still not sure its "good" but they ARE pretty things!

Pimmi I think the new developers will have to clarify a few more things about being "good" but until then I think I am quite good too.

Pati We both are!

Pimmi And on that note we will leave for the moment and get back to our little tasks here.

Pati Its my turn- push the magic box button and... here we go!

Steamy smoldering Mordor, Scenic! Bring the kids!
Our little cart as we collect the "earthen meats"
Delish, on breads in soups in puddings...
Don't ask, just Enjoy!
Say Hello to our eager new staff here to serve You!