Pimmi We just got back in dearests.. we'll put a kettle on and be back soon! Pimmi Alll righty .. I am sipping my warm drink (it gets cold in Mordor at night now!) and what do I hear near the cutting table? SNORES!! Pati has just shuffled off into the night to go to bed, and was not saying much other than grrmmbblllee so we'll be back before this Moonday is over. I do hate the mud crossing to the palace but I love our cozy rooms! We will be back, now you get some sleep too.

HELLO! We are here now..

Pimmi Oh my.. the "faith" business has hit Mordor. Quite a lot of proposals have come in, lots of luncheons, dinners..

Pati and SNACKS! Sorry to have pooped out yesterday I was just plumb tuckered.

Pimmi Well onward as they say!

Pati Who?

Pimmi Here are just a few of the "faith" proposals we saw this last week..

Pati Who says that? Everyone says they say that but I don't know who "they" are...

Pimmi Shhuush! These folks have all put in to build some kind of structure and do their thing here..

Pimmi These people believe in a book written by sea creatures, oh no wait, sky creatures..

Pati More of these sky creatures! There are so many about.

Pimmi Just because someone comes from somewhere else doesn't mean they are better than us.

Pati What if they are bigger...

Pimmi Then they are bigger.

Pati What if they know more?

Pimmi Then you can ask them questions..

Pati Do I have to kiss their rings or other things?

Pimmi I'd imagine you can say thank you very much if they helped you.

Pati What if they didn't help me?

Pimmi You say thanks again and ask somewhere else, find something you like, you move along!

Pati Like a Buffet...

Pimmi But for the mind..

Pati ...so not as tasty...

Pimmi ...well, in a different way.

Pimmi This is for those who can't get enough of Dark Lords..

Pati Seems to me everyone has one, I wonder how many more there are!

Pimmi I wouldn't even guess. I wonder if they are related, a big evil family distributing dark lords everywhere...

Pati I heard one say a good lord made a dark lord and he went crazy being evil to everyone.

Pimmi Well now, there is your problem, don't go about making Dark Lords you can't control.

Pati Some folk want to bring this one into Mordor...

Pimmi I think we have had our fill of these evil ones.

Pati It was fun while it lasted. being evil... i think...

Pimmi I am having fun now myself being GOOD.

Pati Yes I am too and I can remember everything this time!

Pimmi So I would say NO to EVIL lords..

Pati How would you feel about a nice plump lord?

Pimmi Well one religion had a fine plump fellow as their leader.

Pati Real looker!

Pimmi Happy face, obviously appreciates a good meal.

Pati My kind of man!

Pimmi If they all look like this then they will certainly love the Cafeteria and we'd love to have them by to feed them treats.

Pati I'd say yes to this one.

Pimmi I think I would be okay with it too as long as they eat, and none of this "diet" thing I've been hearing about when we bring out the cakes.

Pati "Diet". What a silly word. Its just evil I say!

Pimmi I think a lady wanting to be like those Warrior Ladies we met last week would love this one group's club.

Pati Perfect for the lady who just loves to rough a fellow up! If I didn't know better I'd say their leader lady was an orc-ette.

Pimmi No, much too mean. If we lopped a head off we wouldn't carry it about and stand around on the body.

Pati But she is quite lovely!

Pimmi This one fellow... he was pointed out- someone said he kissed trees.

Pati Oh the Ents will love him!

Pimmi The Ents won't set root in Mordor. A protest or something or other..

Pati No but they talk to the little trees here anyway!

Pimmi How do you know?

Pati I hear them!

Pimmi Imagine that!

Pati I hear trees. Sometimes plants if they speak up.

Pimmi What about the ones you EAT?

Pati I am above them on the food chain so they say its an honor!

Pimmi That new grog barrel had better not be empty again!

Pati I am not drinky! I really do hear them!

Pimmi Well if he gets his church you can be his best friend.

Pati I just might!

Pimmi Now you better not have done what I think you did- I saw you speaking to these folks at the luncheon.

Pati Heehee yes you can call me Reverend Pati now! Rev-P for short!

Pimmi I will certainly not!

Rev-P I might make all the gobbies Reverends!

Pimmi See thats why this is so silly.

Rev-P But FUN!

Pimmi Well thats about all its good for I think.

Rev-P Well when you get married one day I can do the ceremony.

Pimmi Now that might be nice... but just that one.

Rev-P So all you got to do now is trap a fellow!

Pimmi You stop!

Rev-P heehee

Pimmi There was even a group here with a plan of sorts for people who don't believe in anything at all.

Pati Nothing at all?

Pimmi Well I am sure there is more to it than that but .. basically yes.

Pati I think humans are very confused.. so many thingamajigs to listen to, to talk to, bow to, and each one claims its right and the others are wrong...

Pimmi I suppose it gives them something to do, to try to figure it all out.

Pati Rather than running amuk in the streets?

Pimmi Of course not, most of the time humans are behaved and pleasant.

Pati So what would happen if they didn't believe in anything for real-like?

Pimmi Well we don't believe in anything..

Pati ....maybe they'd sleep a lot...

Pimmi Actually we do have quite a few beliefs, a good quick rising dough, a crisp scald on the fried meats, a jiggly layer of translucent goo on the puddings..

Pati MMMMM I DO believe in that!

Pimmi Then there was the one, "Jed-eye" I think they called it...

Pati Silly things!

Pimmi Yes imaginary lands and imaginary people... that can't be the basis of anything serious!

Pati Not Quite!

Pimmi At least we live in the real world.

Pati Of course what other is there?

Pimmi Maybe I should go write a story about pretend places and people and then go about acting like its all real.

Pati Oh don't I would be so embarassed.

Pimmi Of course I wouldn't! We want people to COME to Mordor not run away thinking we are all crazy things!

Pati But I think a nice short fairy story is fun..

Pimmi Oh dear.

~*~

Pimmi While out and about we met so many..umm folks..

Pati Yes some were quite..ahhh "interesting".

Pimmi We asked some what they were here for, what they wanted to start here in Mordor.

Pati I just don't know about some of these, but a couple might be fun!

"I want a Renn Fest! You know all cool and stuff and people in long dresses and horses and swords and stuff.. kinda like you have right now.. wait, why is everyone already dressed up all medieval? Are you already having a Renn Fest?? The how about a Star Trek convention?"
"Proper grooming is key to a sophisticated society. You do not yet have a full service salon for manicures, pedicures and most importantly, coiffure! Of course I am scared of scissors and there is nooo way anyone is going to touch my hands and feet.... but you can pay me commissions on earnings for the idea when you set them up."
"Once you get a church set up we'll come and sing in it! We have trouble in the outerlands getting a place to sing.. no one understands our techno emo polka shoegaze transition to doomcore take on hymnal raps... We thought the inhabitants of Mordor would understand doom... Yah!"
"You need a casino. I don't know anything about them but I know I can dance there looking like this! Watch me shake this tail feather!"
"I hear you lost your dark lord.. bummer. I can take over from here.. bow to me. Now .. okay like you have to bow for me to get respect- hey come back- bow to me minions! Dudes! Come back I order you!"
"I've noticed that folks around here are largely uncovered. Have they no shame? I think you need a hat store..."
"I think I took a wrong turn somewhere. You need a gas station with maps. Can you tell me where the interstate is? You need one of those then too."
"Well we came here to volunteer to Sauron to be his dark mysterious underlords! But looks like we're too late... so if you know anyone that wants a super secret Lord Force or undercover spy ring let them know we have arrived! Is there a bathroom anywhere?"
Pimmi When we see half naked half furry men riding around on wheeled things we have one thing to say.. Come to Mordor.. YES PLEASE COME NOW.. save us from these people! Hahaha its interesting all these new folk but.. we sure hope more come too!